Depression post

Worthless insensitive piece of shit who doesn't deserve anything good in their life

Insignificant

Damaged

I thought I was special.

I thought I was creative.

I'm not.

I'm nothing.

Depression Post

"It's not always about you."

It never fucking is! When is it ever about me? Oh I know when I leave for school, that's when. When I exit your lives, you're eager as hell to get me out.

Depression post

Not exactly wanted at home.
But then again...when am I ever wanted?
Not even my own parents wanted me at first.
I was nothing but a mistake
A stupid mistake that should've never happened :')

Not feeling wanted is normal for me
I mean no one ever wants me around

Now I hate me too :')
Who wouldn't?!

I'm nothing but a piece of shit.

Whenever I look in the mirror I hate what I see

All I do is push people away.

I can't

It's getting harder and harder. The stress, the anxiety, the depression. It's almost becoming too much for me to handle anymore. This strong persona I show to everyone, I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I've even contemplated going back to cutting myself again. Replacing my emotional pain with a physical one. Just waiting for the moment I decide "fuck it". Let the cold sharp metal dig into my skin. Tracing a crimson path on me.

Sometimes I just want it to stop and give up.

Dad: the nitpicker

I swear my dad has to nitpick everything I do and everything about.

1) I don't TV shows as much as anymore. Now I watch the music channel and just listen to the songs.
Nitpick: "Do you ever watch TV?" "Don't you watch anything other than this station?" "Do ever watch cartoons?"
      a) "Power Rangers don't come on anymore." "Aren't you a little old for Power Rangers?"
           You literally just asked if I watch cartoons and now I'm too old for them?!
2) My usual haircut is an undercut and long bangs. My hair grew a bit in the last 3 months since my last haircut.
Nitpick: "You need a haircut." "When you gonna get this cut?" "Please tell you're gonna do something about this."
       a) I get my haircut. Shaved. Shorter bangs. Styled in a pompadour look.
           "Who cut your hair?" "Why?" "Seriously who cut your hair?" [He didn't like it]
3) I started doing my own laundry now.
Nitpick: "Why did you wait til now to do laundry?" "I need to sleep."
       a) I was working Friday. I had my haircut appointment Saturday. Mom was doing Saturday/Sunday. I had work Monday. So yeah today (Tuesday) was the only day I could do it.


Sometimes the emotional abuse I get from him gets to be too much for me to the point I almost started cutting again. I keep thinking...I could easily do it. No one would ever know nor care. I have knives. I could do it on my legs. Easy.

But I didn't though. But shit this family is not making it easy on me at all.